Maybe it won't work out...

Something about this quote really spoke to me this week.

"Maybe it won't work out. But maybe seeing if it does will be the best adventure ever."

I think a lot of the time, protective parts of ourselves try to discourage us from taking chances. We tend to prefer certainty over the unknown. The “maybe it won’t work out” voice wins out over the potential “best adventure ever”.

This makes me think of every client who goes for a VBAC. Who plans for a homebirth, an unmedicated birth. Who does IVF. 

I like this sentiment because it invites us to restore value to the process of experiencing something, beyond the outcome. As someone who’s IVF didn’t work out, I feel a tremendous amount of gratitude for the process.

A process in which I learned how to grieve for the first time in my life. A process in which I connected with a deep calling to mothering within me, that as it turns out, was not bound to birthing a child. A process in which I felt many moments of kismet and deep support. A process that led to deeply meaningful foster-to-adopt relationships that, by the way, also “didn’t work out”. And also, what an adventure it's been!

Don’t get me wrong. I am completely sympathetic to the experience of disappointment, even the shame, anger, and sadness that can come with the territory of something “not working out”.

And of course successful VBACs, homebirths that don't need to transfer, unmedicated births (when desired), and successful IVF cycles are triumphant!

I just wanted to take a moment to share what I love about this quote, which is a re-centering of the virtue and appreciation for ourselves for being willing, in the presence of uncertainty, to take the risk to “see if”. That taking the chance isn’t only worth it when it works out, it’s worth it even when it doesn’t for the unexpected riches we can find along the way if we’re looking for them.

How do these thoughts land for you?