Feeling All the Feels

I've been thinking about a client session I had a few weeks ago with a client who was processing some grief postpartum. It is an interesting time when we experience an abundance of emotions coming up, especially when they seem to contradict each other.

How can we be so full of love and gratitude while also feeling profound grief over how much has changed, over the things that didn't go the way we'd hoped during the birthing process?

Just ask anyone postpartum and they will know this level of emotional complexity well.

What my experience has taught me is simply to have room for all of it. I feel like this is part of the expansion that is motherhood/parenthood, an initiation into holding more than ever before. A beautiful invitation to making room to feel the full arc of our emotions when they well up (kind of like being with contractions), rather than succumbing to the common knee-jerk reaction which might be to cut them off with the opposite.

When the grief comes, let the tears come, don't force yourself to feel the gratitude right away or focus on the bright side. Give the grief space. When the anger rises, let it come. Don't block it with what you think you should feel instead. When the love comes, let yourself have it. Notice if thoughts of what could go wrong arise to pre-empt potential future disappointment. Give yourself space to linger in the appreciation.

As friends, family members, and support people, we can listen more this way too and support our people in allowing these full arcs to be felt. After all it is so beautiful to connect with the source of our emotions. That grief is connected to a beautiful precious desire you had. That anger is connected to really deep caring and a vision of what's possible. That fearful thinking is connected to a desire to protect your heart.

I hope this reminder to feel all the feels gives you all the permission you need to be compassionately present with your full self.

If you or someone you know and love could use any support during this time, with prenatal or postpartum support, comforting touch, havening, bodywork, I'm here for all of it!