It’s been almost 2 months since I’ve shared anything on my blog. Not that I owe anyone an explanation, especially those of you who are new to my posts, but I’m a sharer and this time away has not felt right.
The truth is I’ve been grieving. The private grief of 2 failed embryo transfers. The grief of failing hope and faith. The grief of a long long fertility road that remains open but feels increasingly daunting.
And I just haven’t known what to say. I still don’t today, but I do know that I don’t want to cry alone. I want to cry with you and if that’s what you need, I want to remind you to cry too.
Tears are medicine. It’s the healing power of letting go, of not keeping it together for just long enough to feel. And while I’ve been "taking my medicine" in large doses lately, on some days, especially as time passes, I often need less.
Just as Carol Hall predicted in Free to Be You and Me, crying always makes me feel better.
If you're interested, here is a great blog post written by another fellow IVF-er, IVF: What You Should know if a Friend is Going Through Fertility. I don't agree with every single sentiment, but I think it does do the experience justice. I hope it's helpful.