Marie Kondo Your Doula Practice

As a trainer and mentor to other doulas I have found that the human propensity toward "notgoodenough-ism" and comparison is alive and well amongst doulas, as we are all human beings and it is indeed part of the human condition to experience self-doubt and insecurity.

I was recently speaking with a postpartum doula friend, someone, by the way whose presence alone is profoundly nurturing, and she was sharing her desire for help with her 'closing of the bones' skills. In clarifying where she was hoping to grow more skilled and confident, something emerged during our conversation that pointed to feelings of insufficiency and inferiority. Specifically she carried a bit of a burden that somehow she was not enough because she lacked finesse, comfort, and affinity for guiding others in meditation and visualization.

As she spoke, one of the things that came to mind was how in my Comforting Touch for Doulas classes we talk about the fact that no one ever knows what we're not doing. If something is awkward, too difficult, painful, uncomfortable for you or otherwise "not your thing", you never need to force yourself to offer that thing to a client.

First off, they'll literally never know. All they'll ever know are the things you did offer, and how fully supported they felt.

But also, not only does honoring ourselves in this way make for greater sustainability and longevity in this work, it's also a completely unnecessary sacrifice. We are enough as we are!

During acupuncture school, one of my teachers would say, you will not be graduating and practicing acupuncture. You will practice "Yiska-puncture", "David-puncture", "Susan-puncture", etc.

The gifts and support we offer others will always come in our own unique flavor that will be just perfect for our people. So to put pressure on ourselves that we should have skills like "so and so", or need to be good at "such and such" in order to serve our clients, to be a good doula, to give a good 'closing of the bones', whatever it is, is a fallacy. We are enough.

I invite you to "Marie Kondo" your doula practice, so that when you work with clients, you offer the things that "spark joy" within you, the things that come naturally, that feel "right" and good to you.

That is enough! And when it comes to learning, invest in the skills that call to your heart and make it sing.

Because my friend's postpartum client who needs HER 'closing of the bones' doesn't need a guided meditation. They need her special sauce. Her unique brand of nurturing presence. Hers, not mine. Hers, not yours. And vice versa.

I dedicate this post to celebrating our unique gifts, our enoughness, our pure hearts desires to serve people, and from that place, IMHO, we can never go wrong.

P.S. I'd say this whole thing could apply just as well for parents reflecting on being good enough for their children.

If you want to "Marie Kondo" your hands-on support skills, check here for upcoming in-person classes.

Virtual Comforting Touch for Birth and Postpartum classes are also available on-demand as well!